Changes

I used to always blog whenever I enter a new age. What ever happened? Things happened. Thinking changed. Abilities changed. Emotions changed.

I'm feeling like a rubber band again.

But I'm still thankful that above all, there were more good things than bad. =)
 
It's just some things that cannot change, no thanks to some parts that have no willpower to change. Also no thanks to some parts that do not even want to change.

My worst enemy is STARTING. Blog posts included.

I will definitely make sure that I'll jot down stuffs about plunging into my new age, before the new semester starts. But thinking about the coming semester tears me apart with the pressure of wanting to place myself in a shoebox and the force of wanting to be an unstoppable kung fu fighter.

Right now, I just need ideas.

And a good pair of sports shoes. xP

So here's a pretty thing I found. =D

Current obsession: Fluffy, fat flowers :3

Yay for Hair!

Finally! I got my hair layered AND got my hair some highlights!!! Woowwwooott my first time!!! *cricket sounds from the hair dye community* I don't care if I only got to do this now, I'm freakin' psyched!!! *mental cartwheels* xD


At first, my hair looked like this:

Mak Limah from the super ridiculously famous local movie.

And then, after my new hair makeover last Sunday:

Rachael Weisz a.k.a. I can dream looking like her

But hey, I can relate the sexy feeling! xD



PS: Negativity gives me internal spasms. 


Current mode: Should be sleeping now

Patches of Randomness

Let's have a quick list:


1.   I'm now doing my practical at the campus radio. I gave a mental pat on my back for making a wise decision of being here, as I'm also running other stuff as well (campus radio b-day fest, campus journalism and a theatre programme). 


2.   I hate paperwork for events.


3.    People might think doing practical within the campus and managing the campus radio is a piece of sugar-crusted donut, but they have NO IDEA how challenging it is to pick up the pieces of what has been left and start anew. With two-third of all the practical students actually managing it, truth be told.


4.   I'm lacking AND brimming full of the capacity to care at the same time. Interestingly, I feel nonchalant about this.


5.   I find myself getting bored with romantic love and marriage. Oops. But I'd love to have more friend love and family love. They feel warmer now.


6.   I'm tired of incompetent and/or inefficient people. Not saying I'm all that but I try. I miss working with people who can work. (PS: I miss working with guys too! xP)


7.   I'm disciplining myself in small yet effective ways; stuff that I never did before. And it feels G-R-E-A-T! \^0^/ Hope I can continue this enthusiasm though...


8.   Need to constantly remind self that humans are entitled to their thoughts and opinions. But that doesn't mean they couldn't be irking.


9.   I don't know if I should pursue my theatrical ideas. In some sense, they are quite personal. Yet why this persistent want of showcasing them in reality?


10.  Suddenly I kinda miss my fantasy crush. Mnyaaawaahahahahaaaa... X3
(EDIT: I finally FINALLY met him three days after posting this mnyaawwaahahhahaaaa... My heart did a tiny leap xDD)




PS: I'm positive that I have OCD = Obsessive Cheese Disorder. Grrrfff...

Current songs: From my old 'burnt CD' collection.

Dear God II

Please forgive me for this long while. For neglecting You. For keeping myself away from You. It's just that I find it so hard being stuck between two contrasting points. Left and right. The direction of pull from both opposite sides has equal massive force and when they tear me apart, I'm left immobile to even feel. Sometimes I find myself being dragged more to the left. Sometimes I see that I'm yanked to the right. Then I'm back right in the middle, like a rubber band being snapped back to its original form.

Please help me. Please help me secure my point.


Thank You so much for giving me strength to connect with my sister. It was so difficult, but I succeeded with Your assistance. It feels like Your given strength elevates me to greater possibilities which I was previously hesitant of.


Thank You so much for helping me maintain my academic grades. I totally expect the worst (with the amount of will I had throughout the semester), but You completely changed that. It gives me more strength to endure.


Please, I'm asking for Your guidance through this upcoming year. I could already feel the intensity of the challenges ahead, and without You, I will amount to nothing.


Thank You for still standing by and not giving up on me. Despite of me.



Current time: 2:56 am

It's Not Easy

My recent status on a certain social network site:

... is feeling like the aftermath of trying an overcooked, tasteless meal that was previously presented in mouth-watering beauty.

This probably came up coz I just watched 'Masterchef US' on the idiot box. But the feeling is still evident. And prominent.

Then I opened up my blog dash and voila, an illustration came up from a blog I'm following that totally described my current status.

'Bukan Senang' by Ikhsan Ise

He's an brilliant local artist. His work was very much lauded by my dad a couple of years ago, so I followed his blog (you can see that I put his blog link on the sidebar under 'Randomilicious Blogs', which one rarely notices). You peeps should scout over THERE, have a look around and see what I mean.


Sigh.


PS: I miss my old talent. I'm suddenly reminded of it yesterday by my dad. And now, this.

Current music: Polyphonic instrumental