Old and New

After much thought and fooling around on my Blogger account, I've decided to separate all of my blog posts to two: May 2010 onwards on this blog, and those before said date on my other discontinued blog, HERE. 


Why the separation? Coz I (and that old blog) needed a new change. There has been a lot of new changes since I started blogging back in 2007, so why not start anew on this new platform? Also, I've neglected the old thing so much it's left barely even alive, thus, a change has to emerge forth and it's hanging-by-a-thread legacy has to come to an end. 


Let it be an archive of my old life records of three challenging, yet wonderful past years, for me or anybody to read and reminisce. Let it be an evidence of how I've changed and grown in life. Let it be for what it used to be-my only place to ramble, ponder and confess whenever I needed to. 


Let it be.


Looking forward has never felt so alive. =)


Current mood: Introspective

An Accident and Multiple Birthdays

Accidental change of layout, that is. I tried this seemingly-cool-but-when-tried-sadly-not blog template, then blankly clicked a button which totally changed my old template. Without me saving it first. 


Sigh. Oh well, I had in mind already to change my blog layout a bit anyway, so here it is, as simple as ever. No fancy-smancy image header, just the real thing, right in yer face. Hihi.


Tomorrow, or rather, later, since it's now 4:07am, I'm going out to chill with me pals to celebrate their BIRFDAES! Since all of them but ME has narrow gaps in between their birthdays (and two of them having the same birthdate! I'm totally outcasted, yes.) Hangout, chill, lepak, and then watch theatre. My extra golden little fish. Whee! xD


Must sleep now. How-lah, to wake up in the morn later? Haiyaa.


Current mood: Sleep-defiant

I Miss Blogging

I really do. Too much things have happened waaay too fast since Semester 1 started. It's overwhelming. And tiring. Yet inspiring.

It's all worth it. =)

I want to record everything here that have passed these past 3 months. And I will, soon enough after my mid term exams and assignments. Because many things have been life-changing--for the good, if not for the better. *peaceful smile*

Can't wait to blog back!

Copyright comic above by Mike Lowery.




Current state: Busy

A Day of Celebration (For Two)

[Warning: Brace yourself for this super length of a post.]

Almost 6 days ago, I’ve turned 22. And I believe to have accepted it with glorious success as I’ve calmed myself, triumphantly evade a series of panic attacks, prevented from drowning into a pool of self-contemplations, and welcomed the twin numbers into my life with open arms nonchalantly. It was all smooth. But I couldn’t EVER have done all that without my absolutely amazing and wonderful friends (which I will later specially mention further ^_^). Now this, with a couple of small exceptions—in celebrating that magnificent day in which I was born beautifully 22 years ago. :’-) ♥

First, Exception 1: I wasn’t going out to celebrate with my friends.

Because at the time a few of my besties are scattered individually at Syria/Lebanon, Melaka/Dumai (Indonesia) and Pulau Pangkor, one is working, while a couple of others are at their home in different states respectively. T__T

At first I asked Chocopie on a birthday date to go and watch Toy Story 3 (which now I still haven’t seen) in OU and I already booked the tickets the night before, but I booked a tad bit too early (12.30pm. Yes, it’s early on my holiday watch xD) and I felt suddenly loathing the fact that I have to call a taxi on MY birthday. No freakin’ way. So I cancelled it out with Chocopie and got back to my princess sleep. If I couldn’t get a ride off anyone (or being offered to), I’m just fine being at home doing what I always do best, even on my day. Sloth-ing. ^_____^

Despite Crème Brûlée’s nudging birthday text message telling me to go out and not be a couch potato, I’m sorry honey, but I couldn’t help but to do just that. At least I did it with my mom, eh? It was nice lying together on the comfy sofa. And hey, that day was the first time during this semester break that I actually slept on the sofa! And be a true couch bum! Yeah, because of lack of sleep the night before, owl-ing as usual, I took a nap after some TV ogling. x)

Then it was evening. Mom told me Grandma bought me a chocolate cake(!) and we all (+ my sis) had to pick it up at her place in Amcorp Mall. We did, and I got a teddy bear from Grandma!!! Woowwoooott!!! xD It is golden brown and sooooooo soft!! Man, the very idea of getting a teddy bear at the age of 22 felt so ironically awesome, it just made the entire night so delightful... Hee hee. x3 Then we took Grandma to Grand Aunt’s house and had my birthday cake—and it was just ok. I had to be nice, of course. =b

Now, Exception 2: I was determined NOT to watch any TV channels featuring special tributes to the very first anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death day.

It was irking and depressing altogether. Therefore I avoided any form of contact involving those tributes throughout the whole day. Even after we all got back from cake-eating, my sis unwillingly went to bed and my mom and I watched some TV, the behind-the-scenes film ‘Michael Jackson’s This is it’ was shown on HBO and I told Momma straight off to change the channel.

“Dun wan to watch!” I should be lauded for my sheer determination—if only it was for something sensible.

Then fate decided to be a smart-bum and there was nothing worthy of watching on all other channels. My mom switched back to HBO. “Michael Jackson laa.” I gave a tiny sigh, gave up, and told myself, “Okay, I’ve avoided this the whole day, might as well just get it on since it’s already past midnight.”

“Hm.”

And we watched. As we stared at the screen to MJ’s rehearsals for his ‘This is it’ concert, from selecting dancers to choreographing to refining tunes for his songs to cuing music to re-shooting old videos to wishing everyone, “God bless” to directing to mentoring to dancing to singing… I realised how remarkable this man was, how unbelievable that he is now gone and how daft I was not wanting to remember his departing day. Momma of course, had commented throughout the film:

“Look at how he dresses even for rehearsals… if it’s here all our stupid artists would just wear jeans and t-shirts, but just look at him! And who the Hell is he compared to those people?”

“His pitching (song notes, not singing) is perfect. He knows exactly what’s wrong.”

“This is what he is, when he’s on stage. In front of people he’s just so soft (as in demure), but on stage this is what makes him.”

“…Mati dah dia nohh.” [loosely translated, LT: “…He really is dead, isn’t he...”]

“Look at him, he’s smiling; he’s really enjoying it—he really enjoys what he’s doing. How can they say he killed himself after doing all this—he really wants do this!”

The two last quotes were repeated several times as the film went along. And surprised myself when I answered to Momma’s “Dah takdak dah dia [my name] ooiii…” [LT: “[my name], he’s really gone forever.”]:

“Well, the world didn’t appreciate him enough when he was alive. Now when he’s dead, baru la nak terhegeh-hegeh [LT: all are clamouring] to remember him.”

And then it just hit me. Now that MJ is no longer with us, on every 25^th of June people all over the world would be celebrating his ever-inspiring contributions to the world. The world would finally appreciate him more than ever, in ways that he -more than- rightfully deserves. On this date. And this date, I would be celebrating my life being brought into this world. Life and death. Beginning and end. Happiness and sadness. But it’s all in a good way. It’s all but a sweet reminisce of what had happened and a reminder of what is to become. By moving forward.

As of right now, I don’t give a bum if people mock me of MJ’s death on my birthday. Because for all I know, that only through his death people would specially dedicate the day to remember him, appreciate him and celebrate him of his life that he had. Even if it’s just ONE day.

And it is an honour to celebrate my birthday along with it.

Commemorating MJ would lead to the next thing that I want to commemorate: FRIENDS.

Without them I wouldn’t be the person I am today. My life would be lifeless. And I feel so blessed by having to meet these beautiful people who make my life equally beautiful and I’m truly honoured having to call them as my friends. ^_^

It was a little bit past midnight (which makes it my birthday already) and I was randomly checking out blogs. Then I saw Chocopie updated her blog, so I opened her page. And I was totally blown away. O__o She dedicated a post in favour of my birthday!!! With a tribute to MJ! And the best part was, she posted a video from ‘The Simpsons’ with a birthday song in it, for me! It was the most AWESOME gift I’ve ever received in a long time and I was not just over the moon, I was over the entire universe!! xD I mean, who would ever receive a blog post gift for their birthday?? I could die happy at that moment! And it totally made my whole day, which was why I couldn’t care less about spending my birthday at home. I already had the best present of the day. =^_^=

HERE is Chocopie’s gift post for me. And babe, no words could describe how happy and and thankful and grateful I am for it, and for that we are stuck as BFFs forever! I love you lots lots lots!!! *colossal hug* xD

I also received other beautiful birthday messages that could totally replace any form of tangible presents I could ever get! x3 here a few notable ones:

Crème Brûlée: “happy birthday sweetie pie! its anothr year dat u gota thank God 4 givin u d chance 2 live ur life 2 d fullest. N wen I mean 2 d fullest, u cnt b couch potato 2day, do sumthn! lol. love u miech n il b 4evr grateful 2 God 4 evr meetin such a wonderful person like u. hapy day!” 

Cyg Muahxx: “…Bdwy, hapy2 bee day!! Haha… May Allah bless ur life be4 and aftrwds. We’ll celebrate it nxt sem! Huhu.. Mkn tua lg la kwnku inih.. =}} love ya! ♥ ♥ ♥”

Olong (the first to wish me on Facebook xD): “Hey,u r 1 year older now,1 year smarter now,1 year bigger now,and now u r 1 year closer to all your wishes. Happy birthday darling...I luv u sooooo much!~~~~~~~~~~I wanna be d first 1 wlaupon brthdy ko 2mollow...ngeh3~~OLONG”

Highheels a.k.a Yana: “miramiku... walawpon aku da wish smlm... tp secare officialnyer aku maw mengwish mu skali lg~ [my full name in caps!].... happy gorgeous day! may you become more gorgeous everyday! hahaha.... =D”

Dakcik: “Happy birthday babe ~~ Sorry kt cn tak dpt line nk sms.. ak dh sampai kt Dumai.. byk giler nk di story-mory nie.. well welcom to the age of 22~!!"

Strawbewwy a.k.a Iez: “miechaaaa! happy birthday!! may god bless u always n hav a BLAST!!! love u, love u lotssss!!”

Chocopie on FB xD: “Please tell me Im d last to wish you... hehehe... Hepi Burfday Gurl! xP *looks dead.. =)”

Hunnybun: “happy belated b'day my lovely sweet awesome fun crazily loving BBBBFFFFFFFFFF, the one and only sugarplum!!!!!!!! muahxz!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo. i'll be arriving on the 29th!!!!!!! can't wait to see u!!! lots of stories to share!!!!”

Cream Puff: “sorrrry lambat! HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAY! [belated] may you continue to be awesome and may life get better and better for you! love yooou!”

Chocopie (again) xD: “i wasn't that last n final person to wish u? oh man! =D”

This is my longest wish received on FB, from the one and only Howie ^_^:

“[1st wall post] HAha in your FACE [Chocopie]! IM the last and most special one to wish her so there! Mik, there are so many silly reasons for nt being able to write u a birthday wish sooner and that is so that mine can be above all the other wishes and be the queen of all wishes. So anyway. MIK, ur great, awesome, ageing by the year and stuff and i cant thank u enough fr being my friend at all. I mean GOSH URE OLD!!! and so the almost four years that we have known each oter are simply golden AND UR OLLLDDDDDD! but still ur like a grannie--oooppss i mean mom---oooppsss i mean gal pal to us :))))

[2nd wall post] and the cntinuation to the previous wall post is this:- (apparently facebook have the nerva to say that i cant post a REALLY LONG wall post freaaks i shall say. :)) So yeah, i cant believe how OLD u r dude! So yea, my pride wouldnt let me admit that ur brithday wish is belated so yeah HAPPY BDAY BIITTCCCHHHH!! (It doesnt bother or freak me out that PARETS might be reading this so if U have a problem with it then SUCK MINE!!! HAHAHAHAZHA) So in conclusion to my skillfull and passionately inspiring BDAY speech (And proudly the longest ever on ur wall.), UR OLLLDDDDD!!! hahah peace woman . Love you”

With this much love, I can say I’m the luckiest girl in the world! Having surrounded by so many beautiful people with equally beautiful hearts, life just couldn't get any more AWESOME. ^__^



PS: I believe this is my longest post EVER. With colour fonts! Another additional reason to celebrate yayy! xD
PSS: My name, like the rest of my friends', are protected in respect of privacy. And of being mysterious, or so. xD

Current feeling: Loved ♥

Approaching 22

So let me end it with this post.

Now, typing the title above just made me freak out. A bit. I don't know. It's not cool when you are approaching a new age and still feel unaccomplished about certain parts in life. And it's very uncool when those un-accomplishments are the children of your own doing. But hey, if the Big Boss above allows it, I still have a long way to go, eh? [Muse: Right, keep telling yourself that.]

Two days to go until the identical numbers in said title would arrive to stay for another year.

What have I learned so far, being 21? I won't ponder about it for now, I'll get back to it when I have left it for good--which is in 48 hours time.

But I DO know that during these last days of being 21, I'm not feeling my best being 21. I feel fat, lazy beyond words, useless, uninspired and pretty much brain dead. The only thing I like being fat is that my "pointer sisters" (special thanks to Howie xD) are fuller. Word. Currently...

and...

Pathetic, I know. This is what usually happens when semester break starts, and this time it's in for 3 friggin' weeks. O_o I even revamped my dead blog. Why would anyone ever revamp their DEAD blog? Well, I thought it'll be better off dead lookin' good, at the very least. Or it just comes to show that I currently have no life. T___T

Inspiration, wait for meeehh--I'm gonna getchaaa! Coz I need a change from this pesky die-hard attitude...

...before the new semester starts. Coz next semester is gonna be COLOSSAL (again, thanks Howie xD). 

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Current animal: Sloth