Better

Things will be better.

Because blue doesn't suit me.

And God has awesome plans for the future.

I'm gonna take it strong, yet easy.


As always.

In my own ways.


=)

Current mode: Better ;P

Out of This

Of these that upset me

These which frustrate me

Rendered me helpless

Get me out of this.

Of these that demotivate me

These which empty me

Rendered me lifeless

Get me out of this.

Of these that guilt me

These which eat me

Rendered me to nothingness

Get me out of this.

Of these that sadden me

These which overwhelm me

Rendered me to wretchedness

Get me out if this.

Please, please, please, please.

so my soul could be a bit of ease.

Current mode: Unpleasant

Sacrifices

You can never understand how much your parents means to you and your life until you witness how they work as a living.

For the first time in my 22 years of life, I was invited by my mom to her first ever biggest show in her career to observe how she does her thing and of course, as support.

It started off with the biggest bang.

It ended with the biggest blunder.

And I've witnessed both of these in one night.

As I ate supper with both my parents later after the show, I realised how the incredible amount of work my parents do, both working SO DAMN HARD, of every fiber in their body, to support the life of our family.

I also realised that there will ALWAYS be ONE single person who will screw the life out of your biggest dream of any particular moment in your life.

But you always have to be stronger than that. Because you can.

~

While Mom was performing her work, her personal manager was standing next to me. He then whispered in my ears (as we were standing near the humongous speakers):

"How does it feel like, to have a mother and a father who are both famous?"

I was asked once along the lines of this during the earlier months of last semester, which came up when I was involved with my first theatre production (this will be elaborated later), but it wasn't as upfront of a question as such above.

I was dumbfounded, I couldn't even think of an answer there and then. And all I could utter when all words failed me was, "Hmm... (cocked head on one side and think and squinted my eyes a bit) Yeah, huh?"

He looked at me and smiled, then he said, "Yeah, you keep it on low profile."

I whispered back in his ear, "Humble." And gave an honest smile.

I'm not a person to say humble or to even say that I'm humble, although it's one of my top principles. But at that point of time, I truly meant what I said.

What more, my parents are not as famous as obvious celebrities like actors or singers. They are the brains and talents behind them.

But nobody acknowledges those behind stars, when they are the ones who make them shine.

~

It is definitely an interesting life to have them as parents.

But nobody knows how much struggle and suffering they have to endure EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

In the name of arts.

In the name of entertainment.

It is a business that pays the heaviest price, and it's not just about the cash.

What will be of me?


PS: It's 5:15am. Dad is picking me up for lunch and sending me off back to uni at 12pm. And I haven't packed a single thing. I'm so becoming my mother, it scares me.

Current mode: Tired

It is All Worth it

I've made it on the list!

And it feels phenomenal.

Thank you, God.  =)

Current feeling: High xD

Tomorrow will be the Moment

Of all the hard work I've done throughout this semester; my most busiest and intense semester EVER had in my whole entire student life. 


Tomorrow will I be made known whether my blood, sweat and tears are all worth it.


I have done my best, and I have truly given my all. 


Tomorrow will be the day that everything I've committed so vigorously for is presented within a black-and-white online slip in pdf format, after a few clicks of links and typed student ID.


Semester 1, 2010/2011 RESULTS.


Will it or will it not reflect my mind-bursting, sleep-deprived, inspiration-driven, intense-thinking, problem-solving, mind-numbing, work-efficient, technologically-exasperated, high-endurability, brain-splitting, work-engulfing, incredible-tolerability, utmost-committing, mentally-exhausting EFFORTS?


Tomorrow will be the revelation.


For now, I cannot even feel about it. Coz I don't know what to feel.


Current feeling: Emotionless

Dear God

Please bless my family.

Please bless my friends.

Please bless our futures.

Please forgive me.

Current time: 0300 a.m.