One.
I tend to fancy the male species from afar. I like the mystery of the characters they could be, how they interact with people they know, their poised manners when they address to people they don't know. And the small, noticeable details. The way they walk. The smile. The gestures. The eyes that are looking at something, and the thinking that comes with it. The radiated persona that is uniquely them.
And of course, the additional points would be the, ahem, physical aspects. That is certainly a bonus and in some good cases, makes the most of the fanciness.
Mix these ingredients well and you'll get the perfect male case study to observe from time to time. The fanciness rate would go high or low depending on how he chooses his clothing or hair style. You'll comment, but of course, observation still goes on. You'll go dramatically crazy in particular when you notice him popping up in places you don't expect within the same perimetres as you are. You'll have you eyes following his walks to somewhere. And you definitely question with a evil eye when you see him solely converse with a particular female, and that female would automatically be a female dog (this only happens when the fanciness takes on a higher level xD).
Just perfect. And it gets even more perfect when you hear nice stories about him from the people you know. It's like an exquisite home decor to an already perfect house.
All this from afar.
In some other cases, you get to know him in person. This is when the fanciness is at high risk of falling dead on solid dirt. Why? The mystery would then be gone, shatter into mere nothingness after being shot at by his true colours. The perfect house you build so perfectly of him will burn to charcoal crisp by the inferno of his actual real-life characteristics. Arghh.
It's so annoying. You'll be torn between beating yourself up along the lines of, why did I ever check him out/use to fancy him in the first place, and why do chances play me around so gleefully that I had to endure the annoyance of knowing this guy. Urghh.
Thankfully, not all male case studies that are known turned out horrendous. Some, fancifully, turned out better than the mystery of the unknown. Sometimes, it's proven even better in dreams xD (refer to post 15th Feb). These are the rare case studies that must be continued in further observation to collect important data and then analysed to create fanciful conclusions. So that the fanciness can live on.
All this best from afar.
PS: People might think that this contributes to the many reasons why I'm still single. The truth is, I'm having waaaaay too much fun on my own. xD That why, in this case, I can be vain to say that I ROCK. \\m//
Two.
Last month I did live deejay-ing with fellow deejays in one of the uni dorms that had a charity event. A cool experience that was as I rambled excitedly in English and mostly, surprisingly, in Malay. Notably, I also did my first paintball game, which resulted to having my deejay team lost in the first game, then becoming target practice for a pro paintballer (4 deejays against 1 pro). As a souvenir from my first paintball experience, I had a purplish blue bruise the size of a chicken egg on my upper thigh for a good three weeks. Thanks, pro. xP But still, a great time was all that mattered.
A week passed. I was strolling through the same dorm as always from my own dorm to get to class, and as I was listening to music, I noticed this girl walking towards the same path I was on and looking intently at me from far. I was like, what's up with this bimbo but I paid no attention and kept going. Good thing the music at the time was on low, coz when we crossed paths I heard her saying (in Malay) with a face of attempting to confirm, "You're that deejay from last time, right?" Quite startled, I blurted, "Eh? Uh, yeah, heheh."
I smiled and soared all the way to class. The feeling of personal triumph of accomplishment was awesome. \^0^/
Three.
My radio lecturer had his farewell party end of last month. As a custom, we recorded videos of happenings in the radio lab and recordings of personal and group dedications of the radio crew specially for him. I volunteered to edit the sad video theme (no surprises there) while the eccentric did the happy one. And as I sat through the video clips of my lecturer, his jokes and personal dedication to his students, the crew's expressions of love and appreciation, the addition of music to enhance the video mood, I thought I had enough of being emotional from it all. Enough of wallowing in tears and reminisce. Editing of course, requires seemingly endless repetitions of video play, and I was confident that I was already immune to its emotional content when it was finally done.
I was wrong (no surprises there, either).
Almost 13 minutes long, it was played during the party in front of my celebrated lecturer, his colleagues and his students. The clip of his expression of love towards his students came out and I found myself fighting back huge amount of tears. It certainly didn't help when I saw the calm face of a senior lecturer who listened so intently to every word being said in the video. The eccentric looked at me and said I should get some sleep later coz my eyes were so red. I said that I was just sad.
It was done playing and the senior lecturer shook hands with him, and said something like, "I've never heard such dedication from a lecturer towards his students." I looked around, and I thought I scored with the video when I saw a few of my fellow classmates, red-faced from crying. Even the head was wiping her eyes.
Emotional mission, accomplished.
That evening, the class was empty except for me, the babe and my lecturer. I was coughing like hell but still had the nerve to karaoke with the babe. I sang to tunes of Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley and The Beatles for him in mind. And felt so honoured when he said, "She can really sing!" More than once, even the next day. He commented that I had talent. And his comments were the best I've ever received in my whole 22 years of life. It was such a great honour I'd never forget.
I got my wish to sing to him of Micheal Jackson's 'Ben', as I noted him listening to the song one time with such favour. Coughing and all, I actually got through it okay. Coz he said it was good. =)
It's amazing and a blessing to have known someone who is more of a father than a lecturer.
Four.
The skepticism and the worry of near future. It's gonna be super busy, scary and lonely. An extra subject added to the typical credit hours taken, theatre activities (the feeling of doubt is inevitable), the infamous dreaded lecturer, and some cool people I know including the babe, my best friend, would not be around. My radio lecturer would be gone too.
It's quite hard to contain from bursting into a serious panic attack.
I have to tell myself constantly that I STILL have a few other cool people and cool friends to hang around still. And I must appreciate that.
Yet significant things would not be the same again. Sigh.
Five.
Life after uni. As this one particular gifted lecturer of mine have said, I'm not ambitious. I'm not the one to plan my future. Ideas are of course, permeated there in mind of what's next, but not really the clear, concise picture. The future (and the human being) is too unpredictable for planning. All we can have, really, are ideas. Only God has the future plans constructed.
Just my views.
Watching my friends entering the working world is like a sudden huge splash of cold water to wake a long sleep. I cannot think of my entering of it just yet. But I pray for their success.
I found this quote, which speaks me out very well:
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So let's travel to life!
PS: This post is triggered by Studio Ghibli's movie, 'Whisper of the Heart'. I think this is my new favourite movie from them next to 'Spirited Away'. =3
Current music: Sly and the Family Stone - Que Sera Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)
