Patches of Randomness

Let's have a quick list:


1.   I'm now doing my practical at the campus radio. I gave a mental pat on my back for making a wise decision of being here, as I'm also running other stuff as well (campus radio b-day fest, campus journalism and a theatre programme). 


2.   I hate paperwork for events.


3.    People might think doing practical within the campus and managing the campus radio is a piece of sugar-crusted donut, but they have NO IDEA how challenging it is to pick up the pieces of what has been left and start anew. With two-third of all the practical students actually managing it, truth be told.


4.   I'm lacking AND brimming full of the capacity to care at the same time. Interestingly, I feel nonchalant about this.


5.   I find myself getting bored with romantic love and marriage. Oops. But I'd love to have more friend love and family love. They feel warmer now.


6.   I'm tired of incompetent and/or inefficient people. Not saying I'm all that but I try. I miss working with people who can work. (PS: I miss working with guys too! xP)


7.   I'm disciplining myself in small yet effective ways; stuff that I never did before. And it feels G-R-E-A-T! \^0^/ Hope I can continue this enthusiasm though...


8.   Need to constantly remind self that humans are entitled to their thoughts and opinions. But that doesn't mean they couldn't be irking.


9.   I don't know if I should pursue my theatrical ideas. In some sense, they are quite personal. Yet why this persistent want of showcasing them in reality?


10.  Suddenly I kinda miss my fantasy crush. Mnyaaawaahahahahaaaa... X3
(EDIT: I finally FINALLY met him three days after posting this mnyaawwaahahhahaaaa... My heart did a tiny leap xDD)




PS: I'm positive that I have OCD = Obsessive Cheese Disorder. Grrrfff...

Current songs: From my old 'burnt CD' collection.

Dear God II

Please forgive me for this long while. For neglecting You. For keeping myself away from You. It's just that I find it so hard being stuck between two contrasting points. Left and right. The direction of pull from both opposite sides has equal massive force and when they tear me apart, I'm left immobile to even feel. Sometimes I find myself being dragged more to the left. Sometimes I see that I'm yanked to the right. Then I'm back right in the middle, like a rubber band being snapped back to its original form.

Please help me. Please help me secure my point.


Thank You so much for giving me strength to connect with my sister. It was so difficult, but I succeeded with Your assistance. It feels like Your given strength elevates me to greater possibilities which I was previously hesitant of.


Thank You so much for helping me maintain my academic grades. I totally expect the worst (with the amount of will I had throughout the semester), but You completely changed that. It gives me more strength to endure.


Please, I'm asking for Your guidance through this upcoming year. I could already feel the intensity of the challenges ahead, and without You, I will amount to nothing.


Thank You for still standing by and not giving up on me. Despite of me.



Current time: 2:56 am

It's Not Easy

My recent status on a certain social network site:

... is feeling like the aftermath of trying an overcooked, tasteless meal that was previously presented in mouth-watering beauty.

This probably came up coz I just watched 'Masterchef US' on the idiot box. But the feeling is still evident. And prominent.

Then I opened up my blog dash and voila, an illustration came up from a blog I'm following that totally described my current status.

'Bukan Senang' by Ikhsan Ise

He's an brilliant local artist. His work was very much lauded by my dad a couple of years ago, so I followed his blog (you can see that I put his blog link on the sidebar under 'Randomilicious Blogs', which one rarely notices). You peeps should scout over THERE, have a look around and see what I mean.


Sigh.


PS: I miss my old talent. I'm suddenly reminded of it yesterday by my dad. And now, this.

Current music: Polyphonic instrumental

A Dirty Mind

Come on, now. A dirty mind doesn't have to be filled with just sexual themes. Can we think of other things that could make our minds dirty? Let's decide.

I've been exposed to dirtiness since I was a kid. Weird, yes, which became a part of me. I thank my mom, though, for opening up my mind so much of the unconventional, even taboo subjects that no other parents would even dare to hint at their children.

That's why sometimes my mouth tend to let out things that seem impure. Sexual themes? Got it covered. Sexuality? Sealed and delivered. Verbal abuse? Whenever necessary. Female dog-ing? To those fortunate souls.

Sometimes I can't help but to blurt them out, coz I used to and still, hang out with like-minded people like me. Of course, only in front of people who could handle them. I don't think others who couldn't, could make it. xD

An example of a situation; please observe below:

Place   :   Inside of car.

Time   :   Night.

Characters   :   Two friends and I.

A car passenger friend mentioned RAIN, the biggest Korean celebrity who makes females (and queers) go oh-take-my-body-now, and rain, one of nature's typical phenomena. I responded that the latter rain is cold, but the former rain is hot. Trust me, when something is spoken in your mother tongue, it sounds more raunchier.

The car driver friend turned behind, gave me an 'okaaay' look, turned back in front and said THAT has a double meaning.

I was like, hey, better to have it out then have it in! Not like a case study -- a certain educator caught red-handed.

Driver friend corrected me by saying that it's not a case study, but a literature review.

I swear I laughed like a hyena on crack.


~


Old friends, you already know me by now. New friends, brace yourselves. xD

That's why I love you all. Aww. ♥


Current obsession: CATS! 

Maintain

Maintaining FOUR blogs is quite a challenge. ONE, the campus radio blog. I just updated it yesterday night. TWO, the production house blog. I just updated it four hours ago. THREE, the personal blog, updating it with this post. FOUR, the non-Blogger personal blog. I update it almost every day. xD Oops.

I've never felt so unmotivated to study for finals in all my 2-and-a-half years of university life. Really. Because it doesn't help at all when my first paper starts later than most of my friends.

So my friends would tell me like:

Babe, when the hell are you gonna study?!?

And I'm like:

Study? What study?

And when others are hittin' their exams like:

 Faeces! Babe, please pray for me I'm doin' my exam this afternoon!

I'm just doin' mah thang like:

Okay.

Then, much later, realisation slowly hits hard like:

Ah, faeces! Do I have enough time to cover this?

And throughout my exam period of two weeks, my head will be goin' on and off like:

I can't do this! I can. (repeat x100000)

Well, these tend to happen every time whenever finals are approaching. Rejoice to sweet mental torture! \(>.<)/


Current mood: Moodless